F4Thought #131 - Intimacy: What Does It Mean To You?

#F4Thought #131 Intimacy - What Does It Mean To You?
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The turn out for our 2019 in a Nutshell prompt was fantastic, it fell to me (Floss) to do the spotlight three, because that’s our number when we get over 20 links and I will be revealing them in a moment. Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts on the past year though, you all shared some amazing thoughts and myself and May absolutely hope we see more of you return to F4Thought in 2020. 

Spotlight Posts #130 by Floss 

In a Nutshell by Eye - I defy anyone to read any of Eye’s posts and not fall in love with her writing. She has such a beautiful way of composing her posts and this one was no different. I loved her reflections on 2019 and I can’t wait to see what she shares with us in 2020. 

#F4TSpotlight 

Reflecting and Looking Forward by Zoe K - I could relate to the need to find some quiet time away from the constant buzzing that many of us have in our brains, we all have our own methods of finding the quiet and I very much enjoyed reading about how Zoe is finding her hers. 

Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020 by Little Switch Bitch - This is perhaps a tactical inclusion. I love reading posts from LSB that share her personal thoughts a little more and this one was no different and I know this is something she hopes to do more of in 2020, because it says so in her post, but a little extra encouragement never hurts, right? 

Prompt #131 - Intimacy: What does it mean to you?

Bucket List ~ Guest Post

#f4thought Bucket List ~ Guest Post PJA Woode

My Bucket List

Well I guess I had to pen something as this theme was my idea.  I have been incredibly lucky because in my real life I have pretty much done most things I want to do; I’ve met some amazing people, been to many amazing places and done lots of fabulous things.  I’ve enjoyed a truly fantastic career, too.

The Things We Do For Love - Guest Post

#F4Thought The Things We Do For Love - Guest Post by PJA Woode

At the risk of sounding repetitive, I am starting off this post in a somewhat similar vein to my last one.  So here goes: I suspect that most of the other posts about the things people do for love are all about the ways others have gone that extra mile to please/excite/satisfy/amuse their lover.  But for me, it is the opposite.

I’ve been with my partner for well over thirty years and we get on really well. We share passions

and interest, have the same values, enjoy each other’s company and have fun together.  We are

still very much in love (corny, I know, but true).

But, there has to be a but, doesn’t there?

F4Thought #123 - The Things We Do For Love

#F4Thought #123 The Things We Do For Love

There were so many good perspectives on Faking Orgasms from last week’s prompt and as the task for choosing the spotlight post fell to the lovely blogger who suggested the topic, Julie of Master’s Pleasing Bitch.

Spotlight Post #122 by @MPBJulie

Julie chose Faking an orgasm - not quite a good idea by Isabelle Lauren saying … 

Spotlight Post #122

The following quote really struck a note; ‘I think that’s what surprised me the most about having enjoyable sex again. I thought my body would remember how to orgasm – kinda like how you never forget how to ride a bike – but nothing was further from the truth.’ Read More

I chose Lauren's post because the need to write about this topic once she saw it shone through. Her post came from the heart as she unpacks the reasons for faking orgasms and the pain (physical and emotional) that followed.

But then this: ‘As to whether an orgasm is important to me… If I’m honest: no, not really. Of course I’d love to orgasm during sex, but it’s not necessary.’ This is the experience of so many of us once we are in a happy, stable and loving relationship.

Prompt #123 - The Things We Do For Love

I didn’t exactly think this post up by myself. It was actually inspired by Anything he wants: love, piss and foolishness by the fantabulous Girl on the Net. I remember reading it and thinking, ‘you know what, I wonder what the lovely F4Thought participants have done for love?’ Maybe like Meat Loaf, you’d do anything for love, but you won’t do that. Either way, I’m eager to hear what this prompt inspires you to write about. 

F4Thought #122 - Faking Orgasms

#F4Thought #122 ~ Faking Orgasms - Have you ever faked your climax?

Last weeks prompt of secrets certainly got you writing about all types of secrets, sexual and otherwise. Thank you to everyone who joined in.

J.Lynn has been a supporter of Food for Thought since Floss and I took over back in week #101. So I was very happy when she agreed to choose the spotlight post for week #121.

Spotlight Post #121 by J.Lynn

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading about everyone’s secrets or how they have handled keeping a secret.

#121 Spotlight Post

Being a bit of a secret hoarder myself has its perks and it thrills me knowing about a little piece of a person that no one else may know. I’m not the vindictive type so even if I have a falling-out with a person their secret is still safe with me.

This brings me to why I chose Melody from Melody Insights this week; she has shared her secret with us throughout her blog, but this post really hit a soft spot. As children we are like sponges- we learn, observe, and internalize how we are brought up. This is key in the way we interact with other people and whether or not we let them see our true selves.

“Those of us brought up in a different era would never let on we’d been in trouble at school.  It would only earn extra punishment from parents, potentially painful physical punishment – extra incentive to learn to keep secrets; learning to dissemble in a way that’s not an outright lie.  As a child we learn to keep stuff that can hurt or embarrass us a secret.  One such being that any expression of non-maleness; an absolute taboo." READ MORE...

Prompt #122 Faking Orgasms

F4TFriday #100 - Landmarks

 

This is the 100^th Food For Thought Friday prompt. If you'd asked me when I started this meme if I ever thought I'd manage to keep it going this long, I would almost certainly have said "no". That it has kept going so long is, in the main, down to the support of those of you (59 of you so far) who have provided contributions week after week to the questions that I and several others have set. So, I would like to offer sincere and very heartfelt thanks to those that have supported and contributed.

This is, however, to be the last prompt that I will be setting. Sadly I no longer have time to devote to this project. However, all is not lost. The lovely May (@May_Matters) of Sex Matters, and Floss (@_floss_84) of Floss Does Life have kindly agreed to step in and take up the reins to keep this meme alive.

F4TFriday #99 - Picture This

 

Most, if not all of us, have taken "sexy"/"naughty" photos of ourselves at one point or another. It may have been for your own personal collection, to send to a partner, or perhaps you posted it to a meme such as Sinful Sunday, February Photo Fest or Scavenger Hunt.

Some of us take them for the challenge (and risks) of taking such photos, some out of a sense of exhibitionism, some for the enjoyment of others and some people do it to help with their own self image/self esteem. Most of us, quite possibly do it for a combination of these reasons (or more) in varying proportions.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

F4TFriday #95 - Getting Things Going

 

The type of sex we have often depends on the mood we are in and the circumstances we find ourselves in. Sometime we like to take our time, draw things out, wallow in extended foreplay and have things take as long as possible. At the other extreme, sometime the mood grabs us and all we we have time for is the heady rush of a quickie in the most inappropriate of locations.

Whether it's the former or latter of the above scenarios, or something that lies somewhere in between, things have to start somewhere. So, this week, what we want to know is:

F4TFriday #93 - The Good, The Bad And The Indifferent

 

We all like to think that we're good at doing the things we do. Sex is no different; no one wants to think that they are bad at it. If we are being honest with ourselves, however, we will almost certainly admit that we are better at some things than we are at others.

Often, the things we are "best" at, are those things we enjoy doing most, and we are less good as those activities that we are less keen on.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

What would you consider are your particular sexual strengths?

Is there anything that you feel you could, or want to do better?

Have you ever been told you are particularly good at something?

Are there any activities that you are completely indifferent about, but do them anyway?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #90 - Gone Awry

 

Sex, when everything "works" is fantastic. Sadly however, even when the mind is willing, our bodies can let us down. Stress, tiredness, illness, having the cat jump on the bed as you are approaching climax (or is that one just me?) can all sometimes cause things to go awry and for the best and naughtiest of intentions to fall short of where we wanted them to take us.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

Have you had an experience where either you, or your partner just weren't able to "follow through" with the mood? Is it something that happens regularly

How did you feel at the time?

How do you manage these situations? Are you ever able to get back "in the swing"? If so how?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #89 - The Food Of Love

 

Certain foods, drink, candle light, a certain song, a particular scent, Wednesdays; there are all kinds of things that people consider aphrodisiacs.

Different people are turned on by different things, so, this week, what we want to know is:

Do you have a go to aphrodisiac?

What things help put you in a sexy mood?

Do you have a favourite "love potion/cocktail" that you know your partner cannot resist?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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A BIG "Thank you!" this week to Marie Rebelle, author of Rebel's Notes and host of #WickedWednesday (aka @RebelsNotes) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #88 - In Your Dreams

 

Sex dreams: many of us have had them at one time or another. Sometimes they involve a partner, sometimes a celebrity crush, sometimes a complete stranger and sometimes a "real-life" crush. Usually, all very, well... perhaps innocent isn't quite the word, but harmless fun. Sometimes, the object of our semi-somnolent desire can be extremely inappropriate, a colleague, an authority figure, a best friend or someone that the idea of just gives you shivers (and not the good kind).

So, this week, what we want to know is:

How regularly, if at all, does sex occur in your dreams?

Is there a recurring partner in these dreams?

Who is the most inappropriate person to have featured in a sex dream?

If you have had a sex dream about a friend, did you tell them? How did they react?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #86 - Touchy-Feely

 

Sex is, by its very nature, a highly sensual activity. Sight, sound, scent, and taste all add to and heighten the experience. Primarily though, sex is tactile. Whether you are on your own, or with a partner, touching, and being touched play a large part in igniting arousing and satisfying our sexual needs and desires.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

How do you like to be touched?

How do you like to touch yourself?

Which parts/areas of you body do you most enjoy touching or having touched?

Which part of a partner's body do you most enjoy touching? Why is that?

Are there any parts of your body that you can't stand having touched?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #85 - Getting Off

 

Orgasms, it is said, come in one person sizes. We all, if we're lucky enough to have them, experience them in our own way. The only orgasms we ever truly experience are our own as they are almost entirely internal. What we feel is unique to us, our mood, the stimulation we're experiencing and the circumstances under which they are being experienced.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it.

What is your favourite way to reach/be brought to a climax?

What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm? How long does it normally take you?

How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm? Typically, how often do you manage to get off?

Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally comes first?

Have you ever faked an orgasm? What were the reasons/circumstances that led you to fake it?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #83 - Obsessive Madness

 

I am one of those people who believes that loving someone and being in love with someone are different things. The two things may be related; you may love and be in love with someone at the same time. On the other hand, they could be two distinct and discrete emotional states; the word "love" being a handy and simple linguistic shortcut for emotional states that are anything but simple to define.

So, guess what?  This week, that's exactly what we want you to try and do, by asking:

What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

How does these differences colour and effect the way you interact with that person?

Where sex is involved, does the emotional layer affect its quality?

Where do lust and desire fit into this?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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A BIG "Thank you!" this week to May More, author of Sex Matters (aka @more_matters) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #82 - Reveaing All

 

So, all of us, I would imagine, take our clothes off at some time and there can, obviously, be a host of non-sexual reasons for doing so: taking a shower, going to bed, a medical examination, etc. The chances are that, in doing so, we have undressed in the presence of others.

Sometimes, however, the intent is absolutely sexual; to provoke desire and elicit a lust-fueled response, or maybe just to tease, taunt and frustrate.

So, this week, it's all about stripping off, and we are asking:

Have you ever played any game, e.g strip poker, where removing clothes was a forfeit for losing? How far did you take it? Did you deliberately play to lose?

Have you ever danced naked in front of anyone? What prompted the experience?

Have you ever given a partner (or someone else) a private dance? Has someone ever done so for you?

Have or would you ever perform a lap dance/striptease for a complete stranger?

Would you consider, or have you ever, accepted payment to remove your clothes?

To join in, write an post on your thoughts on this question and simply click on the "Add your link" button and fill out the details below.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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F4TFriday #81 - What Time is Love?

 

I admit, I'm showing my age, dredging up a classic KLF track from 1991 as the topic title this week. Sometimes though, these things just have to be done.

Some of us are morning people, bursting with energy even before the alarm clock has gone off. Others are more lunchtime/afternoon types, who need a little time to get properly into our stride. Then there are the evening/night people who catch their second second wind and come alive as the day winds down.

When it comes to sex, as is so often the case, a lot of it is down to available time, mood, location and circumstances and, while we may have our preferences, we grab our fun when we can.

What we want to know this week is:

What is your favourite time for getting it on? Do you prefer some horizontal cardio before getting out of bed? Do you like to fit in a quick session at lunchtime? Do you prefer a "nightcap" to wind down before you go to sleep?

Is it different at the weekends/on holidays to during the week?

What is it about a particular time of day (or night) that puts you in the mood?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter

F4TFriday #80 - Fresh Starts & Clean Slates

 

So, as the song said, "another year over, and a new one just begun..." We hope you had a wonderful festive/holiday season and now our attention turns to the coming year...

A new year is a new beginning; a time to put the past behind us and look to the future. So, this week we thought we'd ease everyone back in fairly gently, and keep things simple by asking:

What are your goals, dreams, ambitions for 2019?

What, if anything, do you plan to try and change about your life? Why?

Where do you see yourself in 12 months time?

To join in, write an post on your thoughts on this question and simply click on the "Add your link" button and fill out the details below.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

F4TFriday #77 - The Things We Do

 

When we talk about sex, the first thing that probably springs to most people's minds is the act of intercourse itself, or fucking as we here in our particular community often prefer to call it. There is, of course, more to sex than intercourse or fucking and, for some people, it may not even be the predominant sexual activity (if it is indulged in at all).

So this week, what we want to know is:

If intercourse (vaginal or anal) is not your main form of sexual activity, what do you do?

Is there a particular reason that intercourse is not your primary or predominant sexual activity?

For those people for whom intercourse is the predominant means of having sex, what other sexual activities do you frequently partake in?

Are there any activities that are definite no-go areas for you? Why is this? 

A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to Miss Scarlet, author of Miss Scarlet Writes (aka @MissScarletUK) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #75 - Being Thankful

 

It's not a holiday we celebrate in the UK, but yesterday was Thanksgiving in the US.

As the year begins to draw to a close, and the holiday season looms ever closer, this is often a time for reflection.

So, this week, all we want to know is:

What are the things in your life that you are most thankful for?

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter