F4Thought #123 - The Things We Do For Love

#F4Thought #123 The Things We Do For Love

There were so many good perspectives on Faking Orgasms from last week’s prompt and as the task for choosing the spotlight post fell to the lovely blogger who suggested the topic, Julie of Master’s Pleasing Bitch.

Spotlight Post #122 by @MPBJulie

Julie chose Faking an orgasm - not quite a good idea by Isabelle Lauren saying … 

Spotlight Post #122

The following quote really struck a note; ‘I think that’s what surprised me the most about having enjoyable sex again. I thought my body would remember how to orgasm – kinda like how you never forget how to ride a bike – but nothing was further from the truth.’ Read More

I chose Lauren's post because the need to write about this topic once she saw it shone through. Her post came from the heart as she unpacks the reasons for faking orgasms and the pain (physical and emotional) that followed.

But then this: ‘As to whether an orgasm is important to me… If I’m honest: no, not really. Of course I’d love to orgasm during sex, but it’s not necessary.’ This is the experience of so many of us once we are in a happy, stable and loving relationship.

Prompt #123 - The Things We Do For Love

I didn’t exactly think this post up by myself. It was actually inspired by Anything he wants: love, piss and foolishness by the fantabulous Girl on the Net. I remember reading it and thinking, ‘you know what, I wonder what the lovely F4Thought participants have done for love?’ Maybe like Meat Loaf, you’d do anything for love, but you won’t do that. Either way, I’m eager to hear what this prompt inspires you to write about. 

F4TFriday #95 - Getting Things Going

 

The type of sex we have often depends on the mood we are in and the circumstances we find ourselves in. Sometime we like to take our time, draw things out, wallow in extended foreplay and have things take as long as possible. At the other extreme, sometime the mood grabs us and all we we have time for is the heady rush of a quickie in the most inappropriate of locations.

Whether it's the former or latter of the above scenarios, or something that lies somewhere in between, things have to start somewhere. So, this week, what we want to know is:

F4TFriday #93 - The Good, The Bad And The Indifferent

 

We all like to think that we're good at doing the things we do. Sex is no different; no one wants to think that they are bad at it. If we are being honest with ourselves, however, we will almost certainly admit that we are better at some things than we are at others.

Often, the things we are "best" at, are those things we enjoy doing most, and we are less good as those activities that we are less keen on.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

What would you consider are your particular sexual strengths?

Is there anything that you feel you could, or want to do better?

Have you ever been told you are particularly good at something?

Are there any activities that you are completely indifferent about, but do them anyway?

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #92 - Where Do You Go To?

 

As Peter Sarstedt famously sang:

"Where do you go to my lovely, when you're alone in your bed?

Tell me the thoughts that surround you,I want to look inside your head"

Alone time, or making time for yourself is an important, if often overlooked part of looking after ourselves. Sometimes we need space for ourselves, simply to be ourselves.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

How often do you make time for yourself?

What do you do to gain the most benefit from your "you time"?

How do you balance the time you devote to yourself and to others? Which do you prioritise? Why?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #89 - The Food Of Love

 

Certain foods, drink, candle light, a certain song, a particular scent, Wednesdays; there are all kinds of things that people consider aphrodisiacs.

Different people are turned on by different things, so, this week, what we want to know is:

Do you have a go to aphrodisiac?

What things help put you in a sexy mood?

Do you have a favourite "love potion/cocktail" that you know your partner cannot resist?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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A BIG "Thank you!" this week to Marie Rebelle, author of Rebel's Notes and host of #WickedWednesday (aka @RebelsNotes) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #88 - In Your Dreams

 

Sex dreams: many of us have had them at one time or another. Sometimes they involve a partner, sometimes a celebrity crush, sometimes a complete stranger and sometimes a "real-life" crush. Usually, all very, well... perhaps innocent isn't quite the word, but harmless fun. Sometimes, the object of our semi-somnolent desire can be extremely inappropriate, a colleague, an authority figure, a best friend or someone that the idea of just gives you shivers (and not the good kind).

So, this week, what we want to know is:

How regularly, if at all, does sex occur in your dreams?

Is there a recurring partner in these dreams?

Who is the most inappropriate person to have featured in a sex dream?

If you have had a sex dream about a friend, did you tell them? How did they react?

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #86 - Touchy-Feely

 

Sex is, by its very nature, a highly sensual activity. Sight, sound, scent, and taste all add to and heighten the experience. Primarily though, sex is tactile. Whether you are on your own, or with a partner, touching, and being touched play a large part in igniting arousing and satisfying our sexual needs and desires.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

How do you like to be touched?

How do you like to touch yourself?

Which parts/areas of you body do you most enjoy touching or having touched?

Which part of a partner's body do you most enjoy touching? Why is that?

Are there any parts of your body that you can't stand having touched?

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #85 - Getting Off

 

Orgasms, it is said, come in one person sizes. We all, if we're lucky enough to have them, experience them in our own way. The only orgasms we ever truly experience are our own as they are almost entirely internal. What we feel is unique to us, our mood, the stimulation we're experiencing and the circumstances under which they are being experienced.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it.

What is your favourite way to reach/be brought to a climax?

What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm? How long does it normally take you?

How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm? Typically, how often do you manage to get off?

Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally comes first?

Have you ever faked an orgasm? What were the reasons/circumstances that led you to fake it?

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #83 - Obsessive Madness

 

I am one of those people who believes that loving someone and being in love with someone are different things. The two things may be related; you may love and be in love with someone at the same time. On the other hand, they could be two distinct and discrete emotional states; the word "love" being a handy and simple linguistic shortcut for emotional states that are anything but simple to define.

So, guess what?  This week, that's exactly what we want you to try and do, by asking:

What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

How does these differences colour and effect the way you interact with that person?

Where sex is involved, does the emotional layer affect its quality?

Where do lust and desire fit into this?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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A BIG "Thank you!" this week to May More, author of Sex Matters (aka @more_matters) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #82 - Reveaing All

 

So, all of us, I would imagine, take our clothes off at some time and there can, obviously, be a host of non-sexual reasons for doing so: taking a shower, going to bed, a medical examination, etc. The chances are that, in doing so, we have undressed in the presence of others.

Sometimes, however, the intent is absolutely sexual; to provoke desire and elicit a lust-fueled response, or maybe just to tease, taunt and frustrate.

So, this week, it's all about stripping off, and we are asking:

Have you ever played any game, e.g strip poker, where removing clothes was a forfeit for losing? How far did you take it? Did you deliberately play to lose?

Have you ever danced naked in front of anyone? What prompted the experience?

Have you ever given a partner (or someone else) a private dance? Has someone ever done so for you?

Have or would you ever perform a lap dance/striptease for a complete stranger?

Would you consider, or have you ever, accepted payment to remove your clothes?

To join in, write an post on your thoughts on this question and simply click on the "Add your link" button and fill out the details below.

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F4TFriday #81 - What Time is Love?

 

I admit, I'm showing my age, dredging up a classic KLF track from 1991 as the topic title this week. Sometimes though, these things just have to be done.

Some of us are morning people, bursting with energy even before the alarm clock has gone off. Others are more lunchtime/afternoon types, who need a little time to get properly into our stride. Then there are the evening/night people who catch their second second wind and come alive as the day winds down.

When it comes to sex, as is so often the case, a lot of it is down to available time, mood, location and circumstances and, while we may have our preferences, we grab our fun when we can.

What we want to know this week is:

What is your favourite time for getting it on? Do you prefer some horizontal cardio before getting out of bed? Do you like to fit in a quick session at lunchtime? Do you prefer a "nightcap" to wind down before you go to sleep?

Is it different at the weekends/on holidays to during the week?

What is it about a particular time of day (or night) that puts you in the mood?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter

F4TFriday #79 - Festive Fun And Frolics

So, here we are, the shortest/longest day of the year depending on which hemisphere you inhabit. The party season is in full swing and the jolly, fat, judgemental guy in the red suit is frantically making last minute alterations to his naughty and nice lists (although, in my opinion, naughty and nice should be on the same list...).

So, in a spirit of Yuletide merriment, what we want to know is:

What have you done to earn your place on the naughty list this year?

Who will you be kissing under the mistletoe? Who would be your fantasy mistletoers?

Have you ever done something at a Christmas party that perhaps you shouldn't have? Were there any repercussions (good or bad)?

Do you have any naughty festive "traditions"?

Alternatively, if you get up to any other forms festive fun and games, feel free to to let us know...

We will be taking a break over the holidays and, as such, there won't be a question next week, but we're leaving this prompt open until we return in the new year, so that gives you two weeks to share the details of your festive frolics and/or seasonal shenanigans.

All that remains is to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has taken part this year and to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy new year when it comes.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #77 - The Things We Do

 

When we talk about sex, the first thing that probably springs to most people's minds is the act of intercourse itself, or fucking as we here in our particular community often prefer to call it. There is, of course, more to sex than intercourse or fucking and, for some people, it may not even be the predominant sexual activity (if it is indulged in at all).

So this week, what we want to know is:

If intercourse (vaginal or anal) is not your main form of sexual activity, what do you do?

Is there a particular reason that intercourse is not your primary or predominant sexual activity?

For those people for whom intercourse is the predominant means of having sex, what other sexual activities do you frequently partake in?

Are there any activities that are definite no-go areas for you? Why is this? 

A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to Miss Scarlet, author of Miss Scarlet Writes (aka @MissScarletUK) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #74 - Spicing It Up

 

Sex can be many things. It can be spontaneous, fun, serious, passionate, intense, angry, loving, comforting, lustful, or any combination of these things. Another thing it can become is routine and (whisper it) well, a little bit dull.

Even if you aren't into the full-scale BDSM or D/s scene, sometimes it's always good to add a bit of "slap and tickle" to your slap and tickle, just to add some novelty, spice things up and generally just inject some fun into the proceedings.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

Do you like being tickled during sex? Where?

Have you ever used feathers during sex?

Have you ever used foodstuffs during sex? What did you use?

Do you like to be blindfolded during sex? Why/why not?

Do you like to be restrained during sex? Why/why not?

Have you ever used cold or heat as part of your sex play? What provided the cold or heat?

Do you enjoy being spanked, giving spankings, or both?

Is there anything else do you do to "spice things up"? 

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #73 - Keeping It Casual

 

Whether or not we are currently in a committed relationship, be it mono or poly, many of us have had casual encounters. They may have been before we had our first committed relationship, after or last one, when we were between relationships or, possibly, even while were in one (with or without the knowledge of our partner(s)).

The point is, we have urges, and sometimes the only avenue available to attend to such is through some casual/non-committed fun.

So, this week, we are asking:

Have you ever initiated/accepted a hook-up or booty-call? What were the circumstances behind it?

Have you ever had a one night stand? Was it a good or bad experience? What made it so?

Have you ever had a “friend with benefits” relationship? How long did it last? Are you still friends or acquaintances with that person? Are you still having sex with that friend?

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #65 - If I Ruled The World...

 

Rules, they are everywhere. There isn't an aspect of our lives that isn't governed by them. Every way we turn, everywhere we go, there is someone telling us what we can and cannot do and how we are expected to behave, and what the consequences of failing to keep to those rules may be.

So, this week we are asking:

What is your attitude to rules? Do you follow them completely? Do you bend them? Are they there to be broken?

Do you have any self-imposed rules that you live your life by? Do you ever break these?

Within your relationship, are there rules you abide by? Who sets these? Have you ever broken them and, if so, was it deliberate? What are the consequences of rule breaking in this context?

 
A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to Julie, author of Masters Pleasing Bitch (aka @MPBjulie) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #64 - Vocalisation

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F4TFriday #63 - Do It Yourself

Having sex, according to Woody Allen, is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. Actually, even if you do have a good partner, sometimes nothing quite beats a little bit of "alone time". After all, can anyone really know how we like to be touched and aroused better than we do ourselves?

So, this week we are taking things into our own hands and asking:

How often to you indulge yourself? How do you do it? Fingers? Toys? A combination?

Do you have any particular tricks or techniques that work best for you?

Why do you do it? Are there any particular scenarios or circumstances that mean you are more likely to indulge yourself?

Is it a solitary experience or, if you have a partner, do you let them watch? If so, what do you like about being observed?

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #62 - Education, Education, Education...

It's probably fair to say that the quality of sex education varies considerably. If I were being cynical, based on my own experience far too many years ago, I would say it ranges from poor all the way down to utterly inadequate. In my day it was pretty much limited to "Man puts penis inside woman's vagina. Man's sperm fertilises woman's egg. That's where babies come from."

Now, depending on where you live, and your age, your experience may be broadly similar to, or completely different from mine. So, this week, what we want to know is:

What elements do you believe a comprehensive sex education programme should cover and why?

How should the responsibility for teaching kids about sex be split between parents and schools?

What age do you believe we should start teaching children about sex?

If there was one thing that could have improved your own experience of sex education, what would it have been?

 
A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to missy, author of my life as a submissive wife (aka @5ubmissy) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #60 - Abrupt Endings

As we alluded to back in Week 47, sex isn't always as perfect as it is depicted in the movies.

Picture the scene: everything has moved along nicely, you're both in the zone and are making all the moves, climax is approaching and you both know it's going to be big one; and then...

The phone rings, there's a knock at the door, the cat jumps up on the bed, or any one of a number of other things happen that bring things to an untimely conclusion.

This week what we want to know is:

Have you had an experience where you you have had to stop while "in full flow"? 

What happened? 

How did your partner react?

Were you able to get things "back on track" and if so, how?

 
A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to May Moore, author of Sex Matters (aka @more_matters) for providing this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.