F4Thought #139 - Dates and Dating

What are your thoughts on Dates & Dating?
Image Via Pixabay

You are definitely a creative bunch, last week’s prompt of Time Slip brought out some great posts from you all. May has done the spotlight post for this week, but I’ll tell you a secret she chose my favourite too. This week’s prompt is Dates & Dating, so plenty of room for variety and I’m very excited to hear your thoughts on this topic. Before then though, the Spotlight for #138 …

Spotlight Post #138 by May More

#F4ThoughtSpotlight Post

The posts we received for the Time Slip prompt were a joy to read. Even those that tackled difficult issues were well thought out and absorbed the reader from start to finish. When the meme closed I sat back and thought about each one. In my mind, I kept returning to one particular story. The Loop from Michael. The tale sparkled and lifted my spirits. I don't really want to say more than that or I'll give away the plot but here is a quote to whet your appetite and if I was you I would settle down with a cup of coffee and have read.

“We entered the shop which was filled to the brim with the dusty detritus of ages gone by. Items piled haphazardly on top of each other with no rhyme or reason and seemingly defying the laws of gravity and physics. It seemed that many of the items could not possibly be removed without sending every piece of delicately balance junk crashing to the floor and burying us alive.” Read More …

Prompt #139 - Dates and Dating

F4Thought #131 - Intimacy: What Does It Mean To You?

#F4Thought #131 Intimacy - What Does It Mean To You?
Image Via Pixabay

The turn out for our 2019 in a Nutshell prompt was fantastic, it fell to me (Floss) to do the spotlight three, because that’s our number when we get over 20 links and I will be revealing them in a moment. Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts on the past year though, you all shared some amazing thoughts and myself and May absolutely hope we see more of you return to F4Thought in 2020. 

Spotlight Posts #130 by Floss 

In a Nutshell by Eye - I defy anyone to read any of Eye’s posts and not fall in love with her writing. She has such a beautiful way of composing her posts and this one was no different. I loved her reflections on 2019 and I can’t wait to see what she shares with us in 2020. 

#F4TSpotlight 

Reflecting and Looking Forward by Zoe K - I could relate to the need to find some quiet time away from the constant buzzing that many of us have in our brains, we all have our own methods of finding the quiet and I very much enjoyed reading about how Zoe is finding her hers. 

Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020 by Little Switch Bitch - This is perhaps a tactical inclusion. I love reading posts from LSB that share her personal thoughts a little more and this one was no different and I know this is something she hopes to do more of in 2020, because it says so in her post, but a little extra encouragement never hurts, right? 

Prompt #131 - Intimacy: What does it mean to you?

The Things We Do For Love - Guest Post

#F4Thought The Things We Do For Love - Guest Post by PJA Woode

At the risk of sounding repetitive, I am starting off this post in a somewhat similar vein to my last one.  So here goes: I suspect that most of the other posts about the things people do for love are all about the ways others have gone that extra mile to please/excite/satisfy/amuse their lover.  But for me, it is the opposite.

I’ve been with my partner for well over thirty years and we get on really well. We share passions

and interest, have the same values, enjoy each other’s company and have fun together.  We are

still very much in love (corny, I know, but true).

But, there has to be a but, doesn’t there?

F4Thought #123 - The Things We Do For Love

#F4Thought #123 The Things We Do For Love

There were so many good perspectives on Faking Orgasms from last week’s prompt and as the task for choosing the spotlight post fell to the lovely blogger who suggested the topic, Julie of Master’s Pleasing Bitch.

Spotlight Post #122 by @MPBJulie

Julie chose Faking an orgasm - not quite a good idea by Isabelle Lauren saying … 

Spotlight Post #122

The following quote really struck a note; ‘I think that’s what surprised me the most about having enjoyable sex again. I thought my body would remember how to orgasm – kinda like how you never forget how to ride a bike – but nothing was further from the truth.’ Read More

I chose Lauren's post because the need to write about this topic once she saw it shone through. Her post came from the heart as she unpacks the reasons for faking orgasms and the pain (physical and emotional) that followed.

But then this: ‘As to whether an orgasm is important to me… If I’m honest: no, not really. Of course I’d love to orgasm during sex, but it’s not necessary.’ This is the experience of so many of us once we are in a happy, stable and loving relationship.

Prompt #123 - The Things We Do For Love

I didn’t exactly think this post up by myself. It was actually inspired by Anything he wants: love, piss and foolishness by the fantabulous Girl on the Net. I remember reading it and thinking, ‘you know what, I wonder what the lovely F4Thought participants have done for love?’ Maybe like Meat Loaf, you’d do anything for love, but you won’t do that. Either way, I’m eager to hear what this prompt inspires you to write about. 

F4TFriday #109 - Judging Things at Face Value

#F4TFriday #109 Judging Things at Face Value

#109 - Judging Things at Face Value 

The selfie definitely got us all talking last week and not only did we get some fabulous words about them but also some actual images too, which were all delightful. Thank you so much for linking up to Food For Thought. 

#108 Spotlight Post

Spotlight Post

I think many of us will have related to the post shared by Deviant Succubus. Her thoughts on control in relation to the images she shares and faking her confidence levels definitely had me nodding along to many of her points …

And people, there goes a lot of work into faking confidence! You need to wear that mask and you need to wear it well! It is about accentuating the parts of yourself that you like, and hiding those you find terrible. It is about seeming calm and in control, and very much about the way you hold your head up high when walking down the street. But the best way to fake confidence? Posting selfies of yourself! Read More …

Prompt #109 - Judging things at Face Value

F4TFriday #105 - Conscious Communication

#F4TFriday #105 Conscious Communication

It was a rollercoaster of emotions reading last week's posts for our 'Near Misses' topic.

Thank you to May for getting the cogs whirring on that one and to everyone who shared their experiences whether they made us laugh or cry, and trust me they did both, we were very grateful for them.

#104 Spotlight Post

This was a tough choice, A Near Miss from Jupiter Grant is the one that got me right in the feels though. Despite the very different experiences and the ways in which we expressed our struggles, so much of her post resonated with me and I suspect that will also hold true for others. I know how hard posts like this are to write and we are truly blessed when our fellow bloggers open up to us. 

'The insidious thing about depressive illness is that it snuck up on me and it was only upon reflection, after the worst had passed and with the help of therapy, that I saw how the illness had been building over a period of years, how there were warning signs and triggers. Unfortunately, at the time I had no idea how damaging their cumulative effect could be.'

Prompt #105 ~ Conscious Communication

F4TFriday #100 - Landmarks

 

This is the 100^th Food For Thought Friday prompt. If you'd asked me when I started this meme if I ever thought I'd manage to keep it going this long, I would almost certainly have said "no". That it has kept going so long is, in the main, down to the support of those of you (59 of you so far) who have provided contributions week after week to the questions that I and several others have set. So, I would like to offer sincere and very heartfelt thanks to those that have supported and contributed.

This is, however, to be the last prompt that I will be setting. Sadly I no longer have time to devote to this project. However, all is not lost. The lovely May (@May_Matters) of Sex Matters, and Floss (@_floss_84) of Floss Does Life have kindly agreed to step in and take up the reins to keep this meme alive.

F4TFriday #98 - Spread A Little Love

 

The sex blogging community is, above all, a community. We discuss topics that people find difficult to be open about, we promote body/sex/self positivity, we share our experiences, our hopes and fears, and we do it in the knowledge that our fellow bloggers do not judge us.

Having said that, scratch the surface of any blogger hard enough and, underneath you will find a regular human being, who has their own particular tastes and likes.  Part of what makes this community so great is its diversity; the range and breadth of content from contributors is such that there is something out there for everyone to enjoy.

So, in the interests of sharing some love and support for the community of which we are part, we would like you to do something a little different:

F4TFriday #97 - Puting Others First

 

Humans tend to be programmed to focus on their own needs. This isn't necessarily a selfish thing, we need to look after ourselves simply to survive, and we have done a number of prompts in the past about self-care and looking after ourselves.

It is, however, part of our make-up to look after and attend to the needs of those that we care for and who care for us, whether this be in some form of D/s dynamic, or simply as a result of sharing our lives with other people, be they friends, family or partners.

This week's questions are, as always, open to interpretation and may (or may not) be sex related, but what we want to know is:

F4TFriday #92 - Where Do You Go To?

 

As Peter Sarstedt famously sang:

"Where do you go to my lovely, when you're alone in your bed?

Tell me the thoughts that surround you,I want to look inside your head"

Alone time, or making time for yourself is an important, if often overlooked part of looking after ourselves. Sometimes we need space for ourselves, simply to be ourselves.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

How often do you make time for yourself?

What do you do to gain the most benefit from your "you time"?

How do you balance the time you devote to yourself and to others? Which do you prioritise? Why?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #91 - At A Loss

 

Usually, loss is seen as a negative. This is understandable as it generally means that we no longer have something of value, be it a possession, a relationship or sometimes even just a particular thought or emotion.

Sometimes, however, loss, or getting lost, can be a good thing. We stumble upon somewhere/something/someone new, it results in us making discoveries, it alters our view on things, and can take our lives in new and (possibly) exciting directions.

Whether the outcome is good, or bad, loss inevitable means change, so, this week, what we want to know is:

What was your most significant loss?

How did you deal with it?

How has that (or any other) loss affected your life?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #90 - Gone Awry

 

Sex, when everything "works" is fantastic. Sadly however, even when the mind is willing, our bodies can let us down. Stress, tiredness, illness, having the cat jump on the bed as you are approaching climax (or is that one just me?) can all sometimes cause things to go awry and for the best and naughtiest of intentions to fall short of where we wanted them to take us.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

Have you had an experience where either you, or your partner just weren't able to "follow through" with the mood? Is it something that happens regularly

How did you feel at the time?

How do you manage these situations? Are you ever able to get back "in the swing"? If so how?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #87 - The Dating Game

 

Much of the internet these days, it seems, is devoted to helping people either get together, get it on or, on occasion, both. Whether it be "traditional" dating sites such a "match" or "eHarmony" or more sex orientated sites like "fabswingers" or "adult friendfinder", or apps like Tinder or Grindr, there are countless ways of connecting with people for the purposes of sex and/or relationships.

Of course, it wasn't always like this. Those of us of a certain age remember (fondly or otherwise) trying to chat people up in bars or clubs, or being introduced/set up by mutual friends and acquaintances. As someone who has used both the new-fangled and old fashioned approaches, I'm not entirely sure that either way is better, or less apprehensive making than the other, but I digress.

So, what we want to know this week is:

Are you currently dating? If so, what is you preferred method of arranging a date?

If you are in a relationship, how did you meet your current partner and how long did it take before you realised you were "a couple"?

Share an amusing dating anecdote, or recount an experience of a date that went either badly wrong, or incredibly well. Are you still in touch with that person?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #84 - Casual, Committed, Mono Or Poly. Relationship Evolution

 

Sexual relationships come in all flavours; casual or committed, mono or poly, and all shades and variations in between. Relationships also evolve and change over time. A casual relationship can become a committed one, a vanilla one can become a D/s one, a mono one can become a poly one, and a non-mono can sometime become exclusive.

So, this week we want to lift the lid on the evolution of your relationships by asking:

Casual sex, dating, friends with benefits, hook-up, one night stand, fuck-buddy; have you ever had one (or more) of these arrangements? What is the difference?

What is the most interesting way you ever met a partner?

Have you ever had a hook-up become a relationship? How do you know that it had happened?

How would you tell a potential partner you want a non-monogamous or D/s relationship? If you are already in one, how did it evolve?

If you relationship is poly, what is its principal dynamic? Do you have a primary? A few fuck buddies? Is everyone equal? Does everyone know?

What does your ideal relationship look like? Are you already in it?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

A BIG "Thank you!" this week to Morag, author of Moist Musings (aka @moist_musings) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #81 - What Time is Love?

 

I admit, I'm showing my age, dredging up a classic KLF track from 1991 as the topic title this week. Sometimes though, these things just have to be done.

Some of us are morning people, bursting with energy even before the alarm clock has gone off. Others are more lunchtime/afternoon types, who need a little time to get properly into our stride. Then there are the evening/night people who catch their second second wind and come alive as the day winds down.

When it comes to sex, as is so often the case, a lot of it is down to available time, mood, location and circumstances and, while we may have our preferences, we grab our fun when we can.

What we want to know this week is:

What is your favourite time for getting it on? Do you prefer some horizontal cardio before getting out of bed? Do you like to fit in a quick session at lunchtime? Do you prefer a "nightcap" to wind down before you go to sleep?

Is it different at the weekends/on holidays to during the week?

What is it about a particular time of day (or night) that puts you in the mood?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter

F4TFriday #80 - Fresh Starts & Clean Slates

 

So, as the song said, "another year over, and a new one just begun..." We hope you had a wonderful festive/holiday season and now our attention turns to the coming year...

A new year is a new beginning; a time to put the past behind us and look to the future. So, this week we thought we'd ease everyone back in fairly gently, and keep things simple by asking:

What are your goals, dreams, ambitions for 2019?

What, if anything, do you plan to try and change about your life? Why?

Where do you see yourself in 12 months time?

To join in, write an post on your thoughts on this question and simply click on the "Add your link" button and fill out the details below.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

F4TFriday #79 - Festive Fun And Frolics

So, here we are, the shortest/longest day of the year depending on which hemisphere you inhabit. The party season is in full swing and the jolly, fat, judgemental guy in the red suit is frantically making last minute alterations to his naughty and nice lists (although, in my opinion, naughty and nice should be on the same list...).

So, in a spirit of Yuletide merriment, what we want to know is:

What have you done to earn your place on the naughty list this year?

Who will you be kissing under the mistletoe? Who would be your fantasy mistletoers?

Have you ever done something at a Christmas party that perhaps you shouldn't have? Were there any repercussions (good or bad)?

Do you have any naughty festive "traditions"?

Alternatively, if you get up to any other forms festive fun and games, feel free to to let us know...

We will be taking a break over the holidays and, as such, there won't be a question next week, but we're leaving this prompt open until we return in the new year, so that gives you two weeks to share the details of your festive frolics and/or seasonal shenanigans.

All that remains is to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has taken part this year and to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy new year when it comes.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #78 - Bits & Bobs

As the year draws ever closer to a close and the holidays approach, this time of year is often one of reflection as well as celebration.

Keeping the reflective theme in mind, what we want to know this week is:

When do you feel happiest in your skin?

How do you maintain balance in your life? Is there anything you need to change?

What has been a particularly challenging situation that you have faced? How did you handle it? What did you learn from it?

What does it mean to live authentically?

What are the things that inspire you and how do they work for you?

If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?

A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to missy, author of submissy (aka @5ubmissy) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #75 - Being Thankful

 

It's not a holiday we celebrate in the UK, but yesterday was Thanksgiving in the US.

As the year begins to draw to a close, and the holiday season looms ever closer, this is often a time for reflection.

So, this week, all we want to know is:

What are the things in your life that you are most thankful for?

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter

F4TFriday #74 - Spicing It Up

 

Sex can be many things. It can be spontaneous, fun, serious, passionate, intense, angry, loving, comforting, lustful, or any combination of these things. Another thing it can become is routine and (whisper it) well, a little bit dull.

Even if you aren't into the full-scale BDSM or D/s scene, sometimes it's always good to add a bit of "slap and tickle" to your slap and tickle, just to add some novelty, spice things up and generally just inject some fun into the proceedings.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

Do you like being tickled during sex? Where?

Have you ever used feathers during sex?

Have you ever used foodstuffs during sex? What did you use?

Do you like to be blindfolded during sex? Why/why not?

Do you like to be restrained during sex? Why/why not?

Have you ever used cold or heat as part of your sex play? What provided the cold or heat?

Do you enjoy being spanked, giving spankings, or both?

Is there anything else do you do to "spice things up"? 

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.