The Things We Do For Love - Guest Post

#F4Thought The Things We Do For Love - Guest Post by PJA Woode

At the risk of sounding repetitive, I am starting off this post in a somewhat similar vein to my last one.  So here goes: I suspect that most of the other posts about the things people do for love are all about the ways others have gone that extra mile to please/excite/satisfy/amuse their lover.  But for me, it is the opposite.

I’ve been with my partner for well over thirty years and we get on really well. We share passions

and interest, have the same values, enjoy each other’s company and have fun together.  We are

still very much in love (corny, I know, but true).

But, there has to be a but, doesn’t there?

F4Thought #123 - The Things We Do For Love

#F4Thought #123 The Things We Do For Love

There were so many good perspectives on Faking Orgasms from last week’s prompt and as the task for choosing the spotlight post fell to the lovely blogger who suggested the topic, Julie of Master’s Pleasing Bitch.

Spotlight Post #122 by @MPBJulie

Julie chose Faking an orgasm - not quite a good idea by Isabelle Lauren saying … 

Spotlight Post #122

The following quote really struck a note; ‘I think that’s what surprised me the most about having enjoyable sex again. I thought my body would remember how to orgasm – kinda like how you never forget how to ride a bike – but nothing was further from the truth.’ Read More

I chose Lauren's post because the need to write about this topic once she saw it shone through. Her post came from the heart as she unpacks the reasons for faking orgasms and the pain (physical and emotional) that followed.

But then this: ‘As to whether an orgasm is important to me… If I’m honest: no, not really. Of course I’d love to orgasm during sex, but it’s not necessary.’ This is the experience of so many of us once we are in a happy, stable and loving relationship.

Prompt #123 - The Things We Do For Love

I didn’t exactly think this post up by myself. It was actually inspired by Anything he wants: love, piss and foolishness by the fantabulous Girl on the Net. I remember reading it and thinking, ‘you know what, I wonder what the lovely F4Thought participants have done for love?’ Maybe like Meat Loaf, you’d do anything for love, but you won’t do that. Either way, I’m eager to hear what this prompt inspires you to write about. 

F4TFriday #97 - Puting Others First

 

Humans tend to be programmed to focus on their own needs. This isn't necessarily a selfish thing, we need to look after ourselves simply to survive, and we have done a number of prompts in the past about self-care and looking after ourselves.

It is, however, part of our make-up to look after and attend to the needs of those that we care for and who care for us, whether this be in some form of D/s dynamic, or simply as a result of sharing our lives with other people, be they friends, family or partners.

This week's questions are, as always, open to interpretation and may (or may not) be sex related, but what we want to know is:

F4TFriday #92 - Where Do You Go To?

 

As Peter Sarstedt famously sang:

"Where do you go to my lovely, when you're alone in your bed?

Tell me the thoughts that surround you,I want to look inside your head"

Alone time, or making time for yourself is an important, if often overlooked part of looking after ourselves. Sometimes we need space for ourselves, simply to be ourselves.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

How often do you make time for yourself?

What do you do to gain the most benefit from your "you time"?

How do you balance the time you devote to yourself and to others? Which do you prioritise? Why?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #91 - At A Loss

 

Usually, loss is seen as a negative. This is understandable as it generally means that we no longer have something of value, be it a possession, a relationship or sometimes even just a particular thought or emotion.

Sometimes, however, loss, or getting lost, can be a good thing. We stumble upon somewhere/something/someone new, it results in us making discoveries, it alters our view on things, and can take our lives in new and (possibly) exciting directions.

Whether the outcome is good, or bad, loss inevitable means change, so, this week, what we want to know is:

What was your most significant loss?

How did you deal with it?

How has that (or any other) loss affected your life?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #84 - Casual, Committed, Mono Or Poly. Relationship Evolution

 

Sexual relationships come in all flavours; casual or committed, mono or poly, and all shades and variations in between. Relationships also evolve and change over time. A casual relationship can become a committed one, a vanilla one can become a D/s one, a mono one can become a poly one, and a non-mono can sometime become exclusive.

So, this week we want to lift the lid on the evolution of your relationships by asking:

Casual sex, dating, friends with benefits, hook-up, one night stand, fuck-buddy; have you ever had one (or more) of these arrangements? What is the difference?

What is the most interesting way you ever met a partner?

Have you ever had a hook-up become a relationship? How do you know that it had happened?

How would you tell a potential partner you want a non-monogamous or D/s relationship? If you are already in one, how did it evolve?

If you relationship is poly, what is its principal dynamic? Do you have a primary? A few fuck buddies? Is everyone equal? Does everyone know?

What does your ideal relationship look like? Are you already in it?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

A BIG "Thank you!" this week to Morag, author of Moist Musings (aka @moist_musings) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #83 - Obsessive Madness

 

I am one of those people who believes that loving someone and being in love with someone are different things. The two things may be related; you may love and be in love with someone at the same time. On the other hand, they could be two distinct and discrete emotional states; the word "love" being a handy and simple linguistic shortcut for emotional states that are anything but simple to define.

So, guess what?  This week, that's exactly what we want you to try and do, by asking:

What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

How does these differences colour and effect the way you interact with that person?

Where sex is involved, does the emotional layer affect its quality?

Where do lust and desire fit into this?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

A BIG "Thank you!" this week to May More, author of Sex Matters (aka @more_matters) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #79 - Festive Fun And Frolics

So, here we are, the shortest/longest day of the year depending on which hemisphere you inhabit. The party season is in full swing and the jolly, fat, judgemental guy in the red suit is frantically making last minute alterations to his naughty and nice lists (although, in my opinion, naughty and nice should be on the same list...).

So, in a spirit of Yuletide merriment, what we want to know is:

What have you done to earn your place on the naughty list this year?

Who will you be kissing under the mistletoe? Who would be your fantasy mistletoers?

Have you ever done something at a Christmas party that perhaps you shouldn't have? Were there any repercussions (good or bad)?

Do you have any naughty festive "traditions"?

Alternatively, if you get up to any other forms festive fun and games, feel free to to let us know...

We will be taking a break over the holidays and, as such, there won't be a question next week, but we're leaving this prompt open until we return in the new year, so that gives you two weeks to share the details of your festive frolics and/or seasonal shenanigans.

All that remains is to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has taken part this year and to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy new year when it comes.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #68 - Special Occasions

 

Today is my birthday. To mark the fact that I have been on the planet for 48 years, I'm heading off to spend a well earned week lying on a beach and, the chances are, all I will be wearing for much of the next seven days is sunscreen (and possibly a smile).

Birthdays are, of course, potentially only one reason to celebrate. Others can include weddings, the festive/holiday season, a promotion at work, a relationship anniversary, or possibly just the fact it's the weekend.

This week, what we want to know is:

Do you have any "rituals" with which you celebrate/mark special occasions?

What was the last treat (surprise or otherwise) that you gave a partner or that a partner gave to you?

What lengths have you gone to to make a particular occasion "special"?

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #67 - In Your Own Space

 

Modern life can be hectic at times. Friends, family, work, other commitments all make demands on our time and pull us in different directions.  Sometimes it is difficult to find time to focus on ourselves and our own needs because we are spending so much time attending to the needs and wants of others.

With that in mind, what we want to know this week is:

What activities do you indulge in to take care of you?

How regularly do you make time for yourself?

Is your sex life part of your self-care regime and, if so, what part does it play and how?

A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to Marie Rebelle, author of Rebel's Notes and host of #WickedWednesday (aka @RebelsNotes) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #60 - Abrupt Endings

As we alluded to back in Week 47, sex isn't always as perfect as it is depicted in the movies.

Picture the scene: everything has moved along nicely, you're both in the zone and are making all the moves, climax is approaching and you both know it's going to be big one; and then...

The phone rings, there's a knock at the door, the cat jumps up on the bed, or any one of a number of other things happen that bring things to an untimely conclusion.

This week what we want to know is:

Have you had an experience where you you have had to stop while "in full flow"? 

What happened? 

How did your partner react?

Were you able to get things "back on track" and if so, how?

 
A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to May Moore, author of Sex Matters (aka @more_matters) for providing this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #56 - Absent Friends

Like so many of us, we were shocked to learn of the passing of M from Cammies On The Floor. M was a long time friend of the site and a frequent contributor to this and many other memes that the members of this community run.

Her contributions were always well thought out, sexy, and often wickedly humourous and her passing leaves a large hole in the lives of all who knew her.

We aren't asking a question this week; somehow that just doesn't seem right. If, however, you have any memories you would like to share, please feel free to add them here.

F4TFriday #55 - Making Sense

Humans experience the world around them through their senses. Touch, taste, sight, sound and scent all combine to a greater or lesser degree to build up a picture of our surroundings.

Many of us have a dominant sense; some of us are visual, some are auditory, whereas others are tactile. Some of us have lost or have a restricted use of one or more senses, which impacts how we perceive and determine our world.

Sex, by its very nature, is a very sensual and sensory experience. So, this week, what we want to know is:

How do you employ your senses to enhance your enjoyment of sex?

Which of your senses have the biggest impact on your enjoyment?

What effect does sensory deprivation (e.g. blindfolds, restraint) have on you?

If you have a sensory impairment or have lost the use of a sense, how has this affected you (if at all) sexually?

 
A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to SubmissiveJen for providing this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #37 - What's Love Got To Do With It?

Love and sex; for some the two are inextricably linked, for others they are two separate, although sometimes complimentary, things. Everyone, it seems, has their own view on how much of an overlap there is between the emotional and the physical.

So, this week we are asking:

How essential is love to you in a sexual relationship?

Does love make sex better in any way?

Where sex is more than just something casual (e.g. a one-night stand), is it possible to fully detach the emotional and physical sides of sex?

F4TF #32 - Spreading It Around

A couple of weeks ago, we asked for your views on monogamy. This week we're swinging the other way (as it were) entirely, and considering the subject of promiscuity.

Do you believe one gender is more naturally promiscuous than the other? Why do you think this is?

F4TF #17 - A Fool For Love?

"When I look into your eyes  I see Everything I was meant to be  If I'm a fool for love I don't care,  I don't care"   - Belinda Carlisle
To mark one of our favourite days, April Fool's Day, (coz we do love a prank!),  The question is this:

What is the most foolish thing you have ever done in the pursuit of love or sex?