F4TFriday #95 - Getting Things Going

 

The type of sex we have often depends on the mood we are in and the circumstances we find ourselves in. Sometime we like to take our time, draw things out, wallow in extended foreplay and have things take as long as possible. At the other extreme, sometime the mood grabs us and all we we have time for is the heady rush of a quickie in the most inappropriate of locations.

Whether it's the former or latter of the above scenarios, or something that lies somewhere in between, things have to start somewhere. So, this week, what we want to know is:

F4TFriday #94 - Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind?

 

As we move through the world, we present a certain image of ourselves. There are the bits of our personalities, our relationships, our lives that we are happy to share openly, other parts that we share only with our most intimate acquaintances, and some bits that we keep almost entirely to ourselves.

As sex-bloggers, we are, perhaps, more open about the things we share and reveal about ourselves, but even we have things that we keep, if not entirely to ourselves, hidden from the full glare of public scrutiny.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

F4TFriday #93 - The Good, The Bad And The Indifferent

 

We all like to think that we're good at doing the things we do. Sex is no different; no one wants to think that they are bad at it. If we are being honest with ourselves, however, we will almost certainly admit that we are better at some things than we are at others.

Often, the things we are "best" at, are those things we enjoy doing most, and we are less good as those activities that we are less keen on.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

What would you consider are your particular sexual strengths?

Is there anything that you feel you could, or want to do better?

Have you ever been told you are particularly good at something?

Are there any activities that you are completely indifferent about, but do them anyway?

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #92 - Where Do You Go To?

 

As Peter Sarstedt famously sang:

"Where do you go to my lovely, when you're alone in your bed?

Tell me the thoughts that surround you,I want to look inside your head"

Alone time, or making time for yourself is an important, if often overlooked part of looking after ourselves. Sometimes we need space for ourselves, simply to be ourselves.

So, this week, what we want to know is:

How often do you make time for yourself?

What do you do to gain the most benefit from your "you time"?

How do you balance the time you devote to yourself and to others? Which do you prioritise? Why?

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #91 - At A Loss

 

Usually, loss is seen as a negative. This is understandable as it generally means that we no longer have something of value, be it a possession, a relationship or sometimes even just a particular thought or emotion.

Sometimes, however, loss, or getting lost, can be a good thing. We stumble upon somewhere/something/someone new, it results in us making discoveries, it alters our view on things, and can take our lives in new and (possibly) exciting directions.

Whether the outcome is good, or bad, loss inevitable means change, so, this week, what we want to know is:

What was your most significant loss?

How did you deal with it?

How has that (or any other) loss affected your life?

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PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #83 - Obsessive Madness

 

I am one of those people who believes that loving someone and being in love with someone are different things. The two things may be related; you may love and be in love with someone at the same time. On the other hand, they could be two distinct and discrete emotional states; the word "love" being a handy and simple linguistic shortcut for emotional states that are anything but simple to define.

So, guess what?  This week, that's exactly what we want you to try and do, by asking:

What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

How does these differences colour and effect the way you interact with that person?

Where sex is involved, does the emotional layer affect its quality?

Where do lust and desire fit into this?

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A BIG "Thank you!" this week to May More, author of Sex Matters (aka @more_matters) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #82 - Reveaing All

 

So, all of us, I would imagine, take our clothes off at some time and there can, obviously, be a host of non-sexual reasons for doing so: taking a shower, going to bed, a medical examination, etc. The chances are that, in doing so, we have undressed in the presence of others.

Sometimes, however, the intent is absolutely sexual; to provoke desire and elicit a lust-fueled response, or maybe just to tease, taunt and frustrate.

So, this week, it's all about stripping off, and we are asking:

Have you ever played any game, e.g strip poker, where removing clothes was a forfeit for losing? How far did you take it? Did you deliberately play to lose?

Have you ever danced naked in front of anyone? What prompted the experience?

Have you ever given a partner (or someone else) a private dance? Has someone ever done so for you?

Have or would you ever perform a lap dance/striptease for a complete stranger?

Would you consider, or have you ever, accepted payment to remove your clothes?

To join in, write an post on your thoughts on this question and simply click on the "Add your link" button and fill out the details below.

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F4TFriday #80 - Fresh Starts & Clean Slates

 

So, as the song said, "another year over, and a new one just begun..." We hope you had a wonderful festive/holiday season and now our attention turns to the coming year...

A new year is a new beginning; a time to put the past behind us and look to the future. So, this week we thought we'd ease everyone back in fairly gently, and keep things simple by asking:

What are your goals, dreams, ambitions for 2019?

What, if anything, do you plan to try and change about your life? Why?

Where do you see yourself in 12 months time?

To join in, write an post on your thoughts on this question and simply click on the "Add your link" button and fill out the details below.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

F4TFriday #78 - Bits & Bobs

As the year draws ever closer to a close and the holidays approach, this time of year is often one of reflection as well as celebration.

Keeping the reflective theme in mind, what we want to know this week is:

When do you feel happiest in your skin?

How do you maintain balance in your life? Is there anything you need to change?

What has been a particularly challenging situation that you have faced? How did you handle it? What did you learn from it?

What does it mean to live authentically?

What are the things that inspire you and how do they work for you?

If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?

A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to missy, author of submissy (aka @5ubmissy) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #76 - Dressed To Impress

Fashions may come and go, but our own individual style tends to same. Whether your look is formal, smart, casual, grungy, or just "unique", we all tend to have our own preferences as to what we wear when we're at work,  out and about or just slobbing around at home.

This week, we are interested in people's preferences regarding every day clothing. With this in mind, what we want to know is:

Are there specific things you tend to always wear, e.g. suits or denims? Why is this?

Are there things that you always wear under your clothes, e.g. silk, cotton, boxer-shorts or matching lingerie? Again, is there a reason for your preference?

What items of clothing do you like to see members of the opposite sex wear?

Is there anything you simply wouldn't be seen dead in? Why?

Once again, I am indebted to the wonderful long-term freid of the site, Marie Rebelle, author of Rebel's Notes and host of #WickedWednesday (aka @RebelsNotes) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.
 
PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #72 - Pick Me Ups

 

I've been going through one of my "not so great" spells recently. Sex blogging and mental health concerns do seem to go hand in hand. The wonderful Sassy Cat has a list where bloggers can share their experiences under the hashtag #SB4MH (Sex Bloggers for Mental Health).

Even if you are fortunate to not be one of the estimate one in four that experiences mental health conditions in your life time, the chances are you will have experienced times in your life that were less than happy. Everybody suffers from the occasional low mood and blue/black day.

So, with that in mind, this week we are asking:

What do you do to try and pick yourself up when you are down?

Have you got any tried and tested techniques to lift your spirits when things are dark and grim?

When all else fails, how do you look after you?

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

#SB4MH
We pledge our commitment to blog for our mental health. We will write about mental health topics not only for ourselves but for others. We do this to destigmatise mental illness and to promote mental health awareness & education. We are sex bloggers for mental health. #NotAlone #SexNotStigma

F4TFriday #67 - In Your Own Space

 

Modern life can be hectic at times. Friends, family, work, other commitments all make demands on our time and pull us in different directions.  Sometimes it is difficult to find time to focus on ourselves and our own needs because we are spending so much time attending to the needs and wants of others.

With that in mind, what we want to know this week is:

What activities do you indulge in to take care of you?

How regularly do you make time for yourself?

Is your sex life part of your self-care regime and, if so, what part does it play and how?

A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to Marie Rebelle, author of Rebel's Notes and host of #WickedWednesday (aka @RebelsNotes) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #62 - Education, Education, Education...

It's probably fair to say that the quality of sex education varies considerably. If I were being cynical, based on my own experience far too many years ago, I would say it ranges from poor all the way down to utterly inadequate. In my day it was pretty much limited to "Man puts penis inside woman's vagina. Man's sperm fertilises woman's egg. That's where babies come from."

Now, depending on where you live, and your age, your experience may be broadly similar to, or completely different from mine. So, this week, what we want to know is:

What elements do you believe a comprehensive sex education programme should cover and why?

How should the responsibility for teaching kids about sex be split between parents and schools?

What age do you believe we should start teaching children about sex?

If there was one thing that could have improved your own experience of sex education, what would it have been?

 
A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to missy, author of my life as a submissive wife (aka @5ubmissy) for providing the inspiration for this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #55 - Making Sense

Humans experience the world around them through their senses. Touch, taste, sight, sound and scent all combine to a greater or lesser degree to build up a picture of our surroundings.

Many of us have a dominant sense; some of us are visual, some are auditory, whereas others are tactile. Some of us have lost or have a restricted use of one or more senses, which impacts how we perceive and determine our world.

Sex, by its very nature, is a very sensual and sensory experience. So, this week, what we want to know is:

How do you employ your senses to enhance your enjoyment of sex?

Which of your senses have the biggest impact on your enjoyment?

What effect does sensory deprivation (e.g. blindfolds, restraint) have on you?

If you have a sensory impairment or have lost the use of a sense, how has this affected you (if at all) sexually?

 
A  BIG "Thank you!" this week to SubmissiveJen for providing this week's question.

PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #54 - Performing Arts

Generally speaking, sex, whether it be on your own or with a partner is something that is done in private; where the only people who know what is going on are the participants. That isn't always the case however; some of us have a bit of an exhibitionist streak in us.

So, this week we are interested in the idea of sex/masturbation as a performance, and what we want to know is, if either in person, or by some form of video chat (e.g. Skype):

Have you ever let your partner watch you masturbate? Has your partner ever let you watch them?

Have you ever let your partner watch you have sex with someone else? Has your partner ever  watched you have sex with someone else?

Have you ever deliberately let someone other than you partner watch you have sex?

Not counting film/TV, have you watched another person (other than your partner) masturbate or have sex? Did they know they were being watched?

 
PS: If there's a question you'd like us to ask, feel free to contact us via the suggestion box or on twitter.

F4TFriday #48 - Rough or Smooth?

This week, we are looking at the prickly issue of facial hair, and we are splitting the questions along gender lines.

So, without further ado:

Ladies

What is your preference in a man, clean shaven, stubble, mustache, beard? Why?

If your preference is for beards, is there a particular style you prefer a man to have?

Are there any "benefits" to having smooth/facially hirsute partner?

Gentlemen

What is your preference in respect of your own face? Why?

If you have a partner, do they like your style? And again, why?

Would you change your look if your partner really wanted you to, even though you prefer the way you are?

F4TFriday #43 - Foot In Mouth Disease

You're in a club/bar/other location.  You've spotted someone who has taken your fancy. Glances have been exchanged and their body language is an invitation to approach.  You walk towards them, trying to come up with a good opening line, and then...

Yes, we're talking chat ups.

Do you have a tried and tested chat-up line?

Have you ever used, or had a really corny line used on you?  Did it work?

Are you calm and confident, or are you like Jeff?

F4TFriday #42 - Dating By Numbers

So, you're on a date and it's going well; very well... The chemistry is there, the attraction is there. All that both of you really want to do at this point is take it somewhere private and move things up to the next level, as it were.

On the assumption that both of you are definitely up for getting down, what we want to know this week is:

Does it matter how many dates you have had up to this point?

If it was clear things were definitely heading in that direction, would it make any difference if this were a first or subsequent date?

What, if any, are your "rules" for dating and sex?

F4TFriday #41 - Arousal

Arousal. It's one of those things that is sometimes difficult to define. Not the word itself, you can look that up easily enough in a dictionary, but the experience.

The things that turn us on can be many and varied and what puts one person in the mood, might switch another person off completely. Sometimes, something that normally works for you might have little or no effect at all.

So, this week, what we want to is:

Is there anything that is pretty much guaranteed to arouse you?

Do you have any "go to" tips, tricks or techniques that you use to arouse yourself and/or your partner? 

F4TFriday #39 - The Joys Of Sext?

Sexting (the sending of romantic/erotic/explicit text messages), while sometimes getting a bad press, when done with a trusted partner, can be a lot of fun; whether it be an exchange of flirty or romantic comments, right through to full on explicit depictions and descriptions of carnal intent.

So this week, we are asking:

Do you sext?

If you do, how do you do it? Tame? Flirty? Romantic? Explicit?

What have been the most embarrassing/exciting outcomes of a sext exchange?