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| #f4tFriday Near Miss ~ Guest Post PJA Woode |
A few of you might know that the reason I indulge in all this glorious smut stuff is that my sex life at home is as vanilla as vanilla gets. Sex is for Sunday mornings. Same position. Same movements. My OH comes first. I come second. She receives. I give.
And that is it. Anything else is just not on the menu . Masturbation is a sin. Reading erotic tales or watching porn is so far beyond a 'no, no' it is untrue. And, before you ask, yes I have suggested we might push our very limited boundaries, on numerous occasions and in numerous ways, but the door is very firmly shut.
But I do love her a great deal and we are so aligned in every other aspect of life, that the way I keep my sexuality alive is by writing my own tales and taking part in memes such as this. Without this outlet I think I might burst. I know it's not ideal, but it works for me (and, as a consequence, I guess, it also works for our relationship).
My near miss happened incredibly recently. My OH was going away hiking with some girlfriends. Not something she usually does. She decided to use a rucksack which is tucked away in my wardrobe.
Fair enough. BUT this rucksack also was the secret hiding place of a male masturbator sleeve I had recently purchased and really enjoy using when I am on my own.
Nightmare. Panic set in. My OH had packed the main section and was about to move on to the outer zips, where my secret treasure was, well, secreted.
I can't believe I pulled this off, but I offered to put in some snacks she had sorted out to take and took the rucksack down to the kitchen where all this was laid out. I whipped the sleeve out of the rucksack and put it in the oven (which wasn't on, of course).
And she picked it up, now full of her snacks and headed off for her hike. And I had a weekend on my own and was able to retrieve the toy from the oven and put it into very good use, while reading some hot smut penned by the likes of some of you deliciously naughty folk.
PJA Woods
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| #104 Near Miss |
The thing that made me laugh out loud here was the fact u put it in the oven t hide it - tickled me!
ReplyDeleteI can just imagine the feeling of panic. Thank goodness the oven wasn't on.
ReplyDeleteOh, situations like that really get the heart racing! Excellent quick thinking, and I'm glad you had a lucky escape (and a fun weekend!)
ReplyDeleteOh Woody! Such a funny near miss, you styled it out perfectly!
ReplyDeleteIt is a shame you have to make this compromise, but you seem so adoring of your lovely wife that I have to believe you that this is the way forward. I'm so glad you were able to stash the sleeve somewhere safe ... but the oven?! That could have gone so wrong (although she was unlikely to bake anything before she went hiking!)
Love your sense of humour Woody, a great piece.
And thank you again Woody, your post reminded me of one I could submit for this prompt! Double whammy!
DeleteThanks so much for the lovely comment and sorry this has taken my so long to acknowledge
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